From the outside it looks about as appealing as a Rotherham v West Ham match in the middle of winter. It's on the ground floor of a block of flats and lies opposite the council estate that has featured in Little Britain. The pub sign proclaims that this place is a free house, but the choice of beer served at the horseshoe-shaped bar suggests otherwise. Although to be fair you couldn't fault the service. There is horse racing on some sort of mud racecourse on TV, but none of the customers are paying any attention. Music by old crooners drifts across the pub like a mild sedative for what seems like an eternity until one of the lager swilling punters demands that it be changed. It is immediately replaced by the sort of music you would normally be subjected to if you were on the phone to British Gas and got put on hold. Mmm tasteful. Another bloke answers his mobile phone: "I'm full of fahkin' Christmas cheer, what do you fahkin' want?!" Better leave this one to the locals.