The Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Rd

It’s not difficult being the best pub in Selhurst, but the Two Brewers nevertheless carries it off with aplomb. It’s the sort of place I instantly relax in: a minor classic of Victorian wooden interiors painted bizarre colours at some point in the sixties, then never touched again; surfaces arrayed with a hotchpotch of details such as stuffed lizards in glass tanks; a little room at the back with a telly for the football; a pool table; and pub quizzes (Wednesdays and Sundays). Also, being owned by Shepherd Neame, the beer’s great too, consequently attracting some of Selhurst’s more sophisticated alcoholic palates, as well as members of its deaf community. Friendly staff and cheerful punters mop up on all the other criteria I could reasonably demand. If ever you find yourself stranded one railway stop from Croydon, the Two Brewers is the place to give the signal failures time to repair themselves.

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