The Railway Telegraph, 19 Brigstock Rd, Thornton Heath

I’ve often wondered whether Thornton Heath is the heath King Lear wandered around in his madness, pummelled by storms and wracked by grief, passing judgement on stools and keeping the company of fools. It certainly bears the uncannily similar attributes of being a blasted wasteland populated by lunatics. To think it was once considered posh: back in the bad old days of Brixton riots, families moved out this way thinking it would provide them with a better life, and now Brixton is full of trendy art folk paying high rents, drawn like moths to the candle flame of inner city arts funding, while Thornton Heath has rotted away, neglected by Croydon council and duking it out with South Norwood for the honour of being the borough’s basket-case district. The Railway Telegraph is a glorious throwback to better days, a generously-sized and attractive Youngs boozer situated close to the railway station, boasting a little bit of railway memorabilia and a lot of tradition. The interior is well-kept, neatly ordered, tidy and clean, with a mixture of traditional tables and some high stool arrangements, and a central bar serving a large saloon and a smaller snug that tends to be where the locals chew the fat. Has a TV, does real ales and is open to both home and away supporters on match days. It also has a neat arrangement whereby, if you purchase a matchday programme from the bar, by returning it after the game you are rewarded with a pint. Now that’s service. One wonders what happens to the returned programmes – maybe they flavour the beer, or perhaps they’re being pulped to provide the raw materials for a regenerated Thornton Heath, rising like a papier mache paradise from the ruins. Whatever, the Railway Telegraph is good shelter from the storm called summer.

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