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This is a subject that has been irritating me for some time. I have tried to let it go, but the interminable marketing has caused me to crack under the pressure. I can’t take it any more. “What is he going on about?” I hear you cry. Well, I’ll tell you – it’s the current fad for Irish cider.
It started last year: those adverts on television and the posters in seemingly every single pub in the country inviting us to consider the season and drink Irish cider with ice cubes. After the marketing equivalent of carpet bombing, the conquering armies of the gaelic apple juice have succeeded in brainwashing almost the entire populace. Is it just me or has the whole of Britain gone completely mad?
At the risk of pissing into a gale force wind, I have taken it upon myself to educate Britain’s errant cider drinkers and say “Oii No!” The next time you feel the urge to sup on the vile stuff, ask yourself the following questions:
Why is it served with ice?
The answer is this: …because it suppresses the true flavour.
What you are drinking is the cider equivalent of supermarket brand cheap lager, which at room temperature tastes remarkably like chilled leprechaun’s piss.
Why am I drinking Irish cider?
Why indeed when there are dozens of superior British ciders available. The answer is that you have been brainwashed.
Urgh! You’re right. What should I do now?
Stop drinking it now! Grab yourself a pint of something British that has no ice in it.
Nuff said.