BEGIN:VCARD
VERSION:2.1
N:The Wheatsheaf
FN:The Wheatsheaf
TEL;WORK;VOICE:020 7622 3602
ADR;WORK:;;126 South Lambeth Road;SW8 1RB
URL:
NOTE:Saturday night, and the only sound to be heard is that of old men expiring into their pints. Nothing happens for a long time. In the saloon bar the occasional statue of a petrified drinker punctuates the shoddy decor, while out to the side we are alone, all alone, in a large and dismal room that looks embarrassed by its own crapness. We desperately cling on to a conversation but I begin to feel overwhelmed by the deathly stillness of the place. A glazed and hideous silence slides into my heart. A whole lot more nothing happens, followed by  a particularly long spell of nothing. Time slows, and I lose the will to live. It's much like suspended animation in sci-fi movies, only with bad wallpaper rather than dry ice and glass pod-type things. And, unlike sci-fi films,  when we finally escape, the world's still the same outside...
END:VCARD