Welcome to the Random Pub Finder
Are you thirsty?
In need of a pint but just don't know where to go?
Then let us help you...
Welcome to the London Random Pub Finder. It is our mission to return a joyful element of luck to the night on the tiles, to free the harassed from the
onerous duties of choosing a pub for the big night out (which everyone then complains about anyway), to allow the pub going public to throw themselves into the arms of fate!
It's all very simple. The Random Pub Finder is a guide to the greatest London pubs, as picked and reviewed by our exclusive panel. All you need to do is click on our
and one of our wonderful London pubs will be chosen as your venue, along with a description written by the panel.
If you want to browse the pub reviews, take a look at -
Top 5 weird pub experiences
"Entertainment" is provided by a woman in a low-cut top singing hideous, out-of-tune dirges as she shakes her bits at the men. It doesn't help that she sounds like a transvestite and ill-advisedly massacres Bohemian Rhapsody at the end of the night. Barstaff include a man in a very tight leotard (and nothing else), Sergeant Pepper and Asian Elvis. Old men hug the bar to stop themselves falling over, and free food is destroyed with the gusto of a squadron of B52s dropping bombs over Tora Bora. Interracial harmony is spread through the extreme drunkenness of the punters as the madness dial is turned up way above 11.
East European disco a go-go, as Polish couples perform the polka and single men do the chicken dance to banging euro-techno from the 90s. Incredibly heavy drinking followed by vomiting in the toilets seems to be obligatory, and by the end of the night (3am) it's amazing that anyone can stand upright enough to get themselves home.
Rubber Love in a big metal shed close to the Caledonian Road.
1970s time capsule. Feel hairy and expect to meet the Sweeney as last century's most smelly decade explodes over you. Free boiled potatoes, if you're lucky.
Watch London's secretaries gyrate in a dreadful approximation of belly dancing, surrounded by mock Arabian decor and strange men in macs. Alternatively, head up to the beer patio and remind yourself that yes, this is still King's Cross.
12th November Paul reviews the Red Lion, The Bar Locks and Hundred Crows Rising
11th November Paul reviews The Alma
1st October Paul reviews The Smithfield Tavern
4th May Paul reviews The Morgan Arms
2nd April Paul reviews the Pembury Tavern
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